Archive | January, 2012

Tonight, I held hands with a celebrity

29 Jan

We had an event downtown for work tonight to raise money for two of our programs, as well as to get young people interested in our organization. I was working the registration/donation tables in the front when I noticed a man walk in who looked just slightly out of place. He had an air of confidence and was definitely wearing clothes that were more expensive than anyone else’s who was there (and I have no doubt there were people attending that had more money than him). I had a flash of recognition when I saw him, but I couldn’t place him. Then he came up to my table, and I felt reasonably convinced that he was who I thought he was. He wanted to donate, so I walked with him over to the credit card machine (old school swipe style, that’s how we do) and began talking to him. He introduced himself, and I replied with, “I thought so.”

“Do we know each other?” he asked me.

“No, but I’ve seen you,” I responded, oh so non-chalantly.

“What’s your name?”

I introduced myself, and we talked about the organization and what he was doing in town, and then he went his way, and I stayed at my table, a little impressed with myself for not being overly impressed with his celebrity.

You see, this man is a main character on a very popular cable television show*. He wasn’t clean shaven, so he looked a little different than he does on TV, and seeing someone in real life is not the same as seeing them on tv (he was a little shorter than I thought he’d be, but he has great skin, and I believe the scarf he was wearing was homemade). Plus, in real life he’s not an asshole. Although he seemed a little on the eccentric side. But I probably am, too, so I shouldn’t judge.

About 30 minutes later, he walked up to me and held his right hand out. I gave him my left hand, but then took it away and gave my right to him. “I’m not sure which one you want.”

He let go of my right hand and grabbed my left, and we were standing facing each other. “This is the one I want.”

He told me that he needed to go, and I asked him why. He said because of where his car was parked. I felt like at that moment, if I asked him if I could go with him, he would’ve said yes. Part of me wanted to, but most of me is much too sensible to do anything like that. So I let him squeeze my hand a final time, and I said good night.

*I didn’t give his name to try to seem like I think that I’m that cool but because I don’t think it’s fair to post details about other people’s lives without their permission.

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My year in numbers

22 Jan

I turned 28 on Thursday, the denouement of what I considered to be the “year of Jenna,” as self-centered as that sounds. But that’s what I needed it to be, as I redefined my life.

As hard as it is to say it, I’m not where I wanted to be at 28. And as difficult as it has been to accept that, it’s brought me to have the best year of my life. Things were dicey at the outset, but right now, I have that feeling you have when you finish a delicious meal without overeating: completely satiated and content, having enough energy to dance in the living room without worrying about needing to throw up. I’ve found happiness in knowing that if I were at where I’d thought I’d be by now, I would’ve realized that it wasn’t what I wanted.

So, to better explain where I’ve been this year, here’s a list:

1: new apartment

17: pounds of love. Also known as Pierre, my cat, if you hadn’t figured that out yet.

3: cans of Fancy Feast I feed him every day

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1: time that Pierre broke my screen and jumped out my second floor window

2: dresses I sewed without patterns

5: refashions of my old clothing (and only 1 failure that had to be thrown out!)

6: skirts, all by patterns I made myself or modified existing (again, 1 failure that I plan on making in to a shirt, that is, when I figure out how I’m going to go about that)

6: men I went on at least one date with

1: guy I called a boyfriend

1: breakup

2: rejections

1: concert I went to by myself (Amos Lee, who’s amazing)

2: concerts I’ve performed in

6: days I went on vacation by myself to Seattle

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5: days it rained while I was there

2: trips to LA to see my favorite 4 year old and her mother

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2: times I dyed my hair (the only 2 times ever)

2: times I cut bangs (the voice of a French hair stylist telling me that my forehead is too big to not have bangs still rings in my ears)

1: plant I killed. It was a begonia. My mom says it’s ok.

4: hot yoga classes in the last week. New hobby.

14: Christmas cards I received this year (for me, that’s a lot)

5: hidden object game apps I’ve downloaded for my ipad. I’m obsessed. It’ll be 6 by tomorrow.

1: story I sent in to the New York Times to have published. They actually emailed me back, too, so I’m reasonably sure someone read it.

4: out of the 5 goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year that I actually accomplished. And, yes, one of them was the one I wrote about here.

Infinite: amount of love that I have felt from friends, family, and random people on the street who always seem to show up to give me the compliment I didn’t know I needed. I have never felt more loved than I have this year.

I have new goals for this next year. Some are already in motion (I’m going to Spain!), others aren’t fully formed. But I’m not going to let this upward momentum lose its speed.

My fridge is a work of art: everything on there has a specific and defined place. And this is what is at my eye level:

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It’s my answer, and it shows up everywhere I go:

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I’m going to keep my eyes open for it. It’s out there.